When I was six, I was the star defensive player on the local kiddie kicks soccer team. And by star defensive player, I mean I mostly sat on the field and picked dandelions. But year after year the season ended with a giant pizza party and trophies for all—which I had obviously earned by my superior dandelion picking skills.
At about the same time, it became in vogue to refer to short people as “vertically challenged” and perpetually tardy people “punctuality challenged.” And when it turned out I wasn’t very good at math, I was sent to a “special” class, not a remedial one.
Needless to say, I grew up thinking I was pretty much awesome at everything.
And then I became a freelance writer.
Getting rejected is just a part of life as a freelancer. But, it’s how you deal with rejection that determines whether you become a successful, contributing member of the media or that crazy-bitter blogger whose posts reek of self-loathing.
“There is no silver bullet when it comes to freelancing. Even the best writers get rejected, so know you are not alone,” offers Victoria Wiseman, a Honolulu-based freelancer who has made a career writing for local newspapers and magazines.
She adds, “It can take years to get over the ‘I suck’ mentality.”
Here are five tips to help you kick said “I suck” mentality and get you back on the road to publishing after even the most crushing rejection.
1) Never take a rejection personally. A “thanks, but no thanks” really has little to nothing to do with you as a person. When I was a fashion magazine editor, part of my job was selecting models for photo shoots. Not a single one of my selections ever had anything to do with a girl beyond the look we were looking for at that moment—your query letters are no different. Often, rejected queries don’t even reflect on your skills as a writer—it wasn’t like the other models weren’t pretty—it just isn’t the right fit for the publication at the moment.
Wiseman offers this insight “Hopefully, the editor knows their magazine better than you do. They’re looking for very specific things written from specific angles.”
2) Find a way to rework the rejected query into something that might work for an alternate publication. Say, for example, that National Geographic rejected your story on mountain pine beetles in Rocky Mountain National Park. Consider tweaking the idea for a smaller, more niche publication like National Parks Magazine or Conservation Magazine, or go local and pitch the story to a Colorado-based publication. It’s a good way to deal with that “I wasted so much time working on this, and it’s all for nothing” feeling.
3) Take a break to do something you’re undeniably good at. For me it’s a long, hard run, but for you it could be baking those awesome brownies your friends always rave about or re-organizing your DVD collection or crushing it on Words with Friends.
4) Ask for professional help. If there’s an editor you’ve worked with extensively, ask them if there’s something your professional resume is lacking, or if there are common grammatical mistakes you’re repeatedly making that might make a new editor wary of trying you out. It’s also ok to ask them for help networking. If they’ve been in the business for a while, chances are, they’ll probably know people at other publications.
5) Lower your standards. Sure, everyone loves seeing their byline in big, glossy national magazines and crown jewel newspapers. But that means that many of those publications are inundated by queries—on average, a national publication accepts around 4 percent of the queries they receive. Writing for small local publications, community papers, and even guest blogging on popular blogs can get you that “yeah, write it up” you need after a pile of rejection letters.
Wiseman suggests you “Start very locally. As long as local publications are paying, you’re in a smaller area with a smaller pool of writers, and you have local knowledge to bring to the publication.”
The result will be fewer rejections, more assignments and more published clips, which will keep you focused, positive, and better able to deal with the “thanks, but no thanks” when they do, inevitably, come.
